oh canada

This post almost didn't make it to the blog. I could tell the story now and then you could look at the following photos but that's no fun and would ruin the surprise because this is no ordinary cake. It's a sneaky one, rather deceptive.



I'm not going to tell you what kind of cake this is quite yet. But I will say I had this genius idea for Canada Day. Let's start with the toppers. I searched Vancouver high and low for North American wildlife figurines that weren't $10 a piece and considered a collectible. I finally found some moose and black bears mixed in with a package of safari animals at Dollarama . Because Rocky and Bullwinkle are obviously neighbours with Simba and Rafiki.



I chose to paint them gold for obvious reasons. I'd say it's our unofficial national colour. I originally planned to spray paint them but was told at the craft store it would be difficult so I opted for gold craft paint. That was a lie. Spray paint them.



And spray paint these too. And perhaps use thicker paper so you don't have to flatten them under 4 Barefoot Contessa cookbooks over night.

OH CANADA!

Oh watermelon!? That's right, my genius idea was that's you'd cut into the cake and a) surprise, it's a watermelon! and b) it's white, gold and RED!



And then it came to cutting it which I said to myself and those doubtful, "easy peasy". The logical and practical engineer in the room made some suggestions but I didn't listen. Listen to the engineer. Always listen to the engineer.

It's starting to look like a cake, right? Right?!

And then this is where I started to lose it and subsequently my guest of honour left the room. This was supposed be iced with coconut whipped cream. To do so you must refrigerate a can of full fat coconut milk overnight, scoop out the hardened cream and then whip it up. It didn't whip and so I tried another can I had in the fridge and the same thing happened. My only option was to use whipped cream and so I ran out in the pouring rain to the grocery store and begrudgingly bought the smallest carton of whipping cream.



Ta-da! Looks not too bad, right? A snowy Canadian landscape. But can you tell that the other side of the cake is bare without whipped cream? That's because, if you remember, I bought the small carton.

So much for the seedless watermelon that was advertised. 

Once the watermelon monster that I became calmed down and my ever-so-talented model on the upper right felt it was safe to enter my kitchen lair again, we enjoyed some watermelon cake. Because when it comes down to it you can't really mess this one up. It's just watermelon and cream. And so despite my frustration with this cake, I really do encourage you to try it. Just learn from my mistakes and you could really surprise some guests with this sneaky "cake".

Oh Canada Watermelon Cake:
For the cake toppers:
8 skewers
OH CANADA letters printed on card stock (I typed it out using font Bebas Neue at size 170 pt)
tape
white glue
gold craft paint or spray paint
fine gold glitter
plastic animal figurines
paint brushes

1. Paint the figurines with gold paint. Let first layer dry completely and then do a second coat.
2. Paint the letters with one coat of gold paint. Let dry completely. Spread thin layer of white glue on each letter using a paint brush and sprinkle with glitter. Let dry completely and if needed flatten under heavy books.
3. Cut skewers a bit if they're too long.
4. Tape or glue gun letters to skewers.

For the cake:
1 large seedless watermelon
1 can full fat coconut milk chilled overnight or 1 medium sized carton of whipping cream chilled
mixing bowl chilled for 1 hour
paper towel

1. Cut the two ends off the watermelon as parallel to each other as you can. Cut the sides off and shape into a cylinder as best as you can. It doesn't have to be perfect because the whipped cream will cover it up.
2. Pat the watermelon dry with paper towel.
3. For the whipped cream: If using coconut milk, flip the can over and open it. Pour out the water and then scoop out the hardened cream into the chilled mixing bowl. Using the mixer, whip the cream until light and fluffy. If using whipping cream, follow directions on carton. Add 1 tablespoon of sweetener to either cream once whipped.
4. Using a knife, spread the whipped cream onto the watermelon. I found it worked best doing the top first and then the sides.
5. Decorate with toppers.